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EHR team regrets letting clinicians vote on project name as BONER upgrade...
Multiple Electronic Health Systems consultants expressed regret Monday over a poorly conceived plan to allow clinicians to vote on their system’s project name as BONER upgrade goes live. “I believe the...
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Surgeons to operate 6 feet away from patient in operating room
Per compliance with “social distancing,” all OR staff will now stand 6 feet away from each other, including 6 feet away from the patient. Neurosurgeon Dr. Shortarms commented, “Yea, I mean you just...
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Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship Teaches Students How to Match Cufflinks...
NEW YORK — Students enrolled in the Plastic Surgery Summer Fellowship were surprised when they were instructed via electronic mail not to report to the Medical Center on their first day, but instead to...
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Hospitals forced to tap their strategic reserves of breast augmentation supplies
For the past several weeks, the Covid 19 pandemic has had a devastating affect on the citizens of the entire world. No one has been more negatively impacted than our nations celebrities. Without access...
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Orthopedic Library is Actually just a Gym
A detailed undercover investigation has discovered that the orthopedic library is merely just a gym in disguise. The signs should have been obvious in retrospect, as many an orthopedic resident was...
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New Extreme weight loss surgery: total gastric intestinal bypass
All that “digestion and absorption is so overrated” Weight loss surgery has gained popularity, although success rates are no where near 100%. Patients have been asking for more effective types of...
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Urologist Attends Elementary School’s Career Day
Third-grade teacher Mr. Granger’s class has had a ball during their annual career day, where students invite a grown-up to come talk about their job. Scientists, firefighters, and chefs, oh my! But...
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Song of the Diverticulite (Morphine on High at 3am)
All the bickering of which is best The song, the canvass, the word, the marbled stone, The rest Pittance such luxury Lacking any test Pittance yes! Void of existential quest Ver-Sed, Ver-Sed Who maketh...
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New Surgical Intern Faints at Sight of Blood Pressure
LITTLE FALLS, MN—Dr. Daya Stolick, a new surgical intern, hardly broke a sweat when there was a massive amount of blood loss during her first operative case, expertly helping her attending stop the...
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Amazing! This surgeon thinks he can start a case at 3pm!
Sacramento, CA – Dr. Atul, a general surgeon, who evidently graduated from medical school thinks he can actually start a surgical case a 3pm! What an idiot!!! Dr. Atul, who passed his surgical boards,...
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